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But when you're married, commitment is de facto. As I stayed by her side at the hospital for the next 23 hours, I thought, You're in deep waters. Since our wedding, I think there's more reassurance."—"You can be honest when you're married.Honestly, we were very close before we got married, but it was there that I thought, This is what commitment is: There's no going back."—"I travel for work with male colleagues sometimes. If I'm about to go out and my hair looks stupid, she'll tell me. I buy things and hide the bags in my trunk until he's not home so I can hang up the clothes, jewelry, or shoes and take the tags off. He has been sitting down with me and I'm improving, but it's our biggest struggle."—*Brittnie Wells, 27, Herrin, Ill.; married four years *"My wife handles all our money.Keep up the good work.' I find it refreshing and awesome."—*B. Snowden, 36, Sacramento, Calif.; married seven years *"I'm the youngest among my colleagues, and when I'd say me and my boyfriend,' I felt as if they looked at it like Oh, that's cute.You and your little boyfriend.' But since we got married, I feel they take me more seriously.

But at the same time, now that I know the maturity it takes to make a lifelong promise, I understand how people could have more respect for someone who's taken such a serious step in their life."—Your sense of commitment When you're dating, the subject is relationship kryptonite. And, couples say, it's a new source of strength."I woke up at A. My wife was passing blood—she was having a miscarriage."Immediately after the ceremony, it went from OK, we're having fun hanging out' to Make it work, whatever it takes.'" Walker is one of more than 40 spouses—men and women married two months to 20 years—whom interviewed about the ins, outs, and inevitable sideways realities of postnuptial existence.Even those who began by saying life really hadn't changed ended up telling us exactly how it had.In fact, I'm more outspoken in general."—*Courtney Davis, 25, Kalamazoo, Mich.; married a year and a half *"I put a lot of energy into being my best physically and attracting other people when I was single—spending time at the gym, shopping for clothes.So marriage cleared up a lot of space in my life to not have to think about that.

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